OK, the entire list I found:
On a can of bug spray: "Harmful to bees".
On a life-saving device: "This is not a life-saving device".
On a children's cough syrup: "Do not drive car or operate machinery".
Also found on a vial of pills for a dog.
On a motorcycle mirror: "Objects in the mirror are actually behind you".
On a box of sleeping pills: "May cause drowsiness".
On a milk bottle: "After opening, keep up right".
On a bag of peanuts: "May contain nuts".
On a water heater: "If the building in which heater resides is on fire, do not enter the building".
On a mattress: "Do not attempt to swallow".
On a TV remote control: "Not dish washer safe".
On a phone book: “Please do not use this directory while operating a moving vehicle.”
On a skateboard: “This product moves when used.”
On a toilet brush: “Do not use for personal hygiene.”
On an air conditioner: “Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.”
On a blow drier: “Do not use while sleeping.”
On an iron: “Never iron clothes on the body.”
On McDonald's coffee cups: “Warning - Contents may be hot.”
On a PlayStation controller: “Do not attach to your head.”
On a champagne bottle: “Remove label before placing in microwave.”
On a slush cup: “This ice may be cold.”
On a Superman costume: “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
On a computer error message: “Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue .”
On various food products: “May be hot after heating.”
On a baby lotion bottle: “Keep away from children.”
On an aspirin bottle: “Do not take if allergic to aspirin.”
On Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
On a kitchen knife: “Keep out of children.”
On a lava lamp: “Do not ingest.”
On a one-ton block of lead: “Do not eat or inhale.”
On a diving board: “All divers must land in water.”
On the back of a big rig truck: “Do not attempt to drive under, over, or through this truck. If you should choose to ignore this warning, good luck and have fun! Do not pass on right side.”
On a lighter: “Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.”
On a toy Harry Potter broomstick: “This broom does not actually fly.”
On a jigsaw puzzle: “Some assembly required.”
On a pet shampoo bottle: “Not tested on animals.”
Generic: “Before using, read directions, cautions, and warnings carefully. If you do not understand, or cannot read, all direction, cautions, and warnings, do not use this product.”
And, best of all: “Do not hold the wrong end of chainsaw.”
